Červenec 2018

It is necessary to distinguish!

18. července 2018 v 12:24 | Michal Novotný |  Articles in English
Our last English club was really amazing! It was almost one to one session: three teachers (I am sorry, Jeff, you are not a teacher) and four students. First we had to satisfy our needs: "What´s on tap? (Jeff) / I need a glass of cider! (Jitka) / Will Honza come? (Lenka) / Does anybody need a hug? (Me) / I will have a beer. (Sabina) Can my friend join us? (Samir) ..." Everyone was satisfied except for Lenka. Honza did not come.

My friend Jeff is an American. He did not want to speak English. Now I understand why: he did not want to listen to our horrible pronunciation and to correct our mistakes. But a few minutes later he was speaking English as everybody. And what´s more! He explained to us the difference between a dough (with bubbles) and a crust (without bubbles), a hen party and ladies night out, pie and cake, a pâté and a liverwurst ... and between many deers (roe, red, rein). And so I have found out an interesting thing: till yesterday I baked a French lemon cake. From today I bake a French lemon pie. And the recipe is the same! It is useful to know that my pie is more delicious then my cake! I recalled the film Pelíšky: "I had wanted to make a dumplings, but it transformed into gnocchi." = "I had wanted to make a cake, but it transformed into a pie."

Jeff informed us that the Czechs are impolite! We look into other people´s eyes too much. From that moment our "Cheers" were without eye contact. It is important to know who is at the table with you. It is really difficult to hit a glass without looking at it and I could not do it. But if I go to America, the Americans will be satisfied.

My classmate Iri showed us the difference between a rabbit and a hare. The difference is stunning! Believe me, she could be an actress! Even in a cartoon! Later we discussed the word "zajíc" (hare) in the meaning of "a young man". While gay men use "zajíc" (hare), when they are talking about gorgeous young men, straight women use "zajíček" (little hare). But everybody says "koloušek" (little fawn) in the same meaning. If you are a foreigner, remember it!

Do you know how to spell the word "Mississippi"? In England you will say "M, I, double S, I, double S ...", but in America you should say "M, I, S, S, I, S, S, ..."! It is always important to know where you are, when you are spelling words! Luckily enough you don´t have to say a decker-decker, when you mean a double-decker.

My friend Louel posted the following information on Facebook: Dear students, when translating "ruční práce" into English, use the term "manual work" instead of "handjob". In our English club we developed this thought and the conclusion was unequivocal: It is necessary to distinguish! If you confuse these two expressions, instead of a passionate night and sex with a chain you will crochet a chain. And you will be surprised only by a size of your partner´s crochet hook.

Our English clubs are really enlightening! I have to express my thanks to Jitka, Sabina, Iri, Lenka, Samir and Jeff for beautiful evening! What about you, dear reader, will you join us next time?

Let´s talk about ... sex!

12. července 2018 v 11:54 | Michal Novotný |  Articles in English
After three English clubs that took place in Kentaur bar I am sure, that it is a very good idea. Not only we practice English, but we also enrich our lifes! And the English club is quite international: there were guests from Spain and Bosnia and our future guest will be from the USA and from the Philippines. What are the benefits for me?
  • I meet my friends!
  • Thanks to Markéta I know, that before I will die, I should do several things: to change baby´s nappy, to ride a rollercoaster, to play laser game, to have an office relationship and to swim with wild dolphins.
  • Jitka explained to me how wallabies are lying.
  • Damir described us some sexual differences between the Czechs, the Bosnians, the Serbians and other nationalities.
  • I have found out, that spider´s bottom tastes like a paté ... but nor this information can not make me eat it!
  • Iri´s children were really impressed by Prag! Mainly three things made a good impression on them: two shits and one building covered with shit. It seems I should go to Prag soon! I have never had impressions like this!
  • If you want to visit Brno, do it now! Holes are everywhere and visitors like it! We sent some photographs to our friends in Prague, they were stunned!
  • There is hope that my friends would pair me off with somebody. Ladík tried to pair Lenka off with his friend: "Look at the photo, this is my friend, you would like him ... but he is straight." I have to add, that Lenka is straight too.
  • We are open and friendly and we do not avoid any topic! The last one was sex: it is useful to know which porn actor had sex with young and old people, with men and women ... with everybody ... with everything.
  • In our English club we speek not only English, but also Spanish, Bosnian and French. I really like Japanese and Hebrew, I would find some guests from Japan and Israel.
  • The most frequent sentence you can hear in our English club is: "English please!" And it works: most of the time we are talking in English!
The English club is an opportunity to meet new friends, to practice English and learn new things. And it is really useful for our spoken English. I know, after reading this article, you can have doubts about it, but trust me ... and join us!